


The Weird Stuff

by KaRaEa



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: M/M, Mindless Fluff, Soulmate AU, TiMER AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 16:19:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14116179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaRaEa/pseuds/KaRaEa
Summary: TiMERs weren't a thing in the 1940s, and Tony knows that, but it somehow didn't occur to him that Steve wouldn't have one, and wouldn't know how they work. Somehow it's up to Tony to give him The Talk."You do know the, uh, the weird stuff though, right?" Tony asks.





	The Weird Stuff

**Author's Note:**

> The mindless fluff tag is there for a reason. I wrote this ages ago but was embarrassed by the sheer plotless mushiness. 
> 
> Also, TiMER is an actual movie. An awesome one. It has Anya from Buffy in it and isn't as mindlessly fluffy as this. Go watch it

Tony stares for a moment before shaking himself. "Yeah, Right. It's just weird  guess. I mean, I was around, obviously, before they were a thing, but I never thought... It didn't occur to me..." He tilts his head. "Gotta wonder how the system will handle the serum though, I mean part of the algorithms are based on biological maturity and cell production. And the whole 40s mindset. It's... gonna be interesting to see how the TiMER handles that. How it balances the psychology with the physiology and..."

Steve has an adorable furrow between his eyebrows.

"Yeah, if you want one I'll provide full services through the S.I partnership so your details don't get leaked," Tony says. Captain America is getting a TiMER. God, if Fox got hold of this the world would have a field day.

Steve smiles uncomfortably. "Thanks."

"You do know the, uh, the weird stuff though, right?" Tony asks.

"Weird stuff?" Steve asks.

That'll be a no then. Tony sighs. "Sit down. They'll give you a much abbreviated version of this talk when you go in, but it won't contain the juicy bits and'll be a lot more optimistic."

"Natasha said there were 'issues' with the system, but she got called out before she could explain," Steve says, sitting down. 

"Yeah," Tony says. There isn't enough whisky in the world to deal with this. Even if he was allowed to drink it anymore. "Okay. So, first thing you need to know: you can only be matched up to another person with a TiMER. Your eyes meet as the time runs out, it goes beep, that's how you know it's them. Not everyone has one, and given your... background, and the fact you're not going to physically age at the same rate as the rest of us, the chances that yours would be someone not yet old enough to have one, or too old to have bothered, are a lot higher than usual. Basically, your soulmate could be out there without a TiMER, maybe forever, so your TiMER won't be able to find them. It'll just be a row of zeros.

"That's the first 'issue'. Second is that this doesn't mean you won't fall in love with anyone else. Sometimes people can fall in love without being soulmates. Some couples stay married for years, some even make the choice to remove their TiMERs and be happy with the old fashioned way for that reason. You, or your soulmate, could be in love with someone else by the time you meet. Especially since, issue number three, TiMERs can predict you meeting a looooooong time in the future. You or they might not want to be alone for that long." Tony pauses to let Steve absorb. 

When the brow furrow smooths, Tony resumes. "Next is the unexpected death clause. TiMERs are, quite frankly, a mix of science, psychology and weird fate-y stuff that no one quite understands yet. They can predict death from cancer before the person even develops it, they can predict a person emigrating, changing major life views, a lot of random shit that really, we shouldn't be able to predict. But they can't predict natural phenomenon or people without TiMERs. Your TiMER could freeze. This means your soulmate caught the big one a little early. You can have a year left on your TiMER and a freak storm, or a killer who happens not to have a TiMER, could bump off Miss Right before you get to lock eyes with her."  

By now Steve is looking almost terrified. "Is that why you don't have one?"

Tony looks down at the patch he wears over his own TiMER with its line of zeros he hasn't been masochistic enough to look at in years and licks his lips. "Something like that. Don't worry though, I'm sure it'll work out for you."

Steve nods and smiles.

 

"How'd it go?" Tony asks without raising the faceplate. The air around them is still filled with a gas that to anyone without supersoldier serum or alien biology is toxic. 

Steve looks reflexively down at his wrist. "Two days. Just over."

Tony swallows hard. He'd hoped... Well, no, he hadn't. He couldn't hope for Steve to have problems with his TiMER just so that Tony could swoop in and try to start up a non-match relationship with him. Two days. Fuck. "Wow. That's, uh, that's great."

Steve doesn't look so sure.

 

Steve slouches down on the sofa, but Tony doesn't look up from his work. He's on a deadline and no amount of ogling his teammates is going to help with that.

"Why did you never get a TiMER?" Steve asks. "I mean, I know you mentioned the 'issues' with it, but you never really said. I mean surely it's worth it?"

Tony shrugs.

Steve sighs and turns on the TV. By the time Tony finishes and looks up, all he sees is Steve's back as he leaves the room.

 

"What if the TiMER is wrong?"

Tony groans and rolls over without opening his eyes. He's too tired for this shit. They just finished a battle and he'd stripped off the suit and flung himself into a cot bed on the helicarrier without waiting for the others to get back, hoping that Steve would see him sleeping and leave him alone. Less than a day left now. Instead he groans again for emphasis and flings his arm over his face. "It's never 'wrong'. I mean, theories," he waves his other arm about vaguely. "But you always love the person you time out for. Not one established case where a timed out couple didn't love each other. Not one where they broke up."

Steve makes a faint noise of doubt. "But what if you have more than one? What if people still fall in love with people they don't time out for because you get more than one shot? What if the TiMER only shows you your best chance, not your only?"

Tony groans again. "Leave me alone. Tired. Sleep."

 

Four hours later and they're already dealing with another disaster. Admittedly linked to the first one of the day, but still. Four fucking hours.

The faceplate slides down and he launches from the helicarrier just as Steve comes into the hanger. Tony had suited up in record time eager to get this over with and go back to bed.

It's a long, bloody battle and Tony has had enough even before he gets blown up. No, honestly, blown up. Pieces of the suit go flying as he crashes through an eighth story window to land on someone's kitchen island. Luckily the helmet isn't one of those pieces.

He rotates his bared wrist with a wince, noting with relief that it's not broken. Then he freezes. 

His TiMER is visible for the first time since he fell in love with Pepper, when he'd finally given up on the TiMER ever working for him. The chances that his TiMER would start when he was past forty... Well, he knows he's immature, but that's one hell of an age difference. Virtually everyone his age who'd likely ever get a TiMER already had one.

But it wasn't reading zeros now.

Or it was, but the last few digits were now counting down. Only seconds.

He looks around frantically, trying to spot the owner of the apartment, trying to meet their eyes. Then he realises the faceplate is down and he starts struggling with it. The TiMER needs eye contact to work, he needs to get this damn thing off. 

It's stuck. It's fucking stuck and now he's panicking, He's going to miss it. It's impossible, but if there's one thing he's learned it's that the universe will go out of its way to fuck itself up just to screw him over and he can't breathe and the fucking thing is stuck and he's going to  _miss it._..

And then there's strong hands pressing on the catches Tony's panicked fingers can't properly press and the faceplate is coming off.

Blue eyes meet his and joint beeping fills his ears.

Steve looks down at Tony's arm in shock, then at his own, then back into Tony's eyes.

"You..." Tony gasps between still panicked breaths. "How..."

"You said you didn't have a TiMER!" Steve accuses.

Tony shakes his head, not sure whether he's trying to deny it or trying to clear his mind. "It was always zeros, I never thought..."

Clint swings in through the broken window on one of the grappling arrows Tony only recently managed to perfect. "Oh good, you're alive. If you're done having a rest, we got more of these suckers waiting to be viciously murdered."

Steve goes back into Captain America mode and jumps back out of the window, leaving Tony to painfully pick himself up and shake off the fast arriving SHEILD paramedics.

He calls another suit and is airborne and fighting again within ten minutes, resolutely ignoring the various aching and stinging points all over his body, as well as the near panic in his mind.

 

He's actually being sensible for once when Steve finds him. Not 'getting first aid and making sure he doesn't have a concussion' level sensible, but he's showered and getting ready to climb into bed.

Steve seems frozen in the doorway, unsure of his welcome.

"Either come in or get out, either way, close the door because if you don't... Well, actually that's an idle threat with no real strength of conviction behind it. But I'm tired and your hovering is annoying," Tony says.

Steve comes in and closes the door behind him. "Did you hide your TiMER because you didn't want to know or because you were worried about other people knowing?"

Tony shrugs. "Both. Neither. I always had zeros. It was easier to just pretend I didn't have it at all."

"How do you feel about how it worked out?" Steve asks.

"I honestly don't know. I haven't really processed it yet," Tony says.

Steve steps forward. "If I was to kiss you, would that help you process? Or would that make it worse?"

Tony freezes."What?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Tony swallows and nods mutely.

"Good," Steve smiles. "Because I've been wanting to for awhile now and I thought I'd ruined it when I got this thing. I thought I'd lost my shot. I'd wanted it to be zeros, I wanted to convince you to get a TiMER and I wanted to be there when you got it."

The kiss is slow and wary, both of them waiting for something to go wrong. Nothing does.

"But I don't understand. I've seen you several times since I got it and it never went off. Why?" Steve asks.

"Eye contact. It's needs eye contact," Tony answers. "I'm not always so good with that."

Steve shakes his head and grins. 

"Shut up," Tony mutters. He looks down at both their wrists, the row of zeroes on each. "Okay, I'm done processing."

"And?"

Tony licks the taste of Steve still lingering on his lips. "This whole thing was messed up enough I probably don't need to worry about it going wrong. Probably."

Steve raises his eyebrows. "I thought it was romantic."

"You would," Tony says. 

Maybe it was a little romantic.


End file.
